Surrender (Instrumental)
Justin T Freeman
What the song means to me.....
I wrote and recorded this song in March 2020. I had been home for a couple months of planned time off already. 2019 was a great work year and 2020 was pretty much booked and looking good. I had updated all of my workflows and templates for work and caught up with work on the house I had been missing out on. I started
What the song means to me.....
I wrote and recorded this song in March 2020. I had been home for a couple months of planned time off already. 2019 was a great work year and 2020 was pretty much booked and looking good. I had updated all of my workflows and templates for work and caught up with work on the house I had been missing out on. I started to focus on music as my time was freeing up a bit. Then, it happened to us all, the chaos of the world kicked in with little notice. Gigs were cancelling daily and before I knew it my entire calendar had been cleared and remains empty indefinitely.
I had financial obligations, the fear of the unknown, and the general panic of the world all knocking on my door. I was not sleeping or eating well and the stress was building steadily. As I have, in many of my darkest times I leaned into music hard. It gave me something positive and creative to focus on. I made it my job 9 to 5.
The song begins with mystery and the unknown lurking, the calm before the storm. This is the jumping off point. Something is coming. Then it begins, the chaos. Holding on by my fingernails trying not to be thrown off. Taking twists and turns as the situation unfolds. Struggling with reality, denying what is happening, I can think my way out of this, if I just worry enough I'll come up with the solution. The bridge of the song represents my surrender to the situation. A breath of much needed air. I accept the situation we are in. I surrender to the worlds events and my life situations. If I fight it I will be destroyed. I don't have to like it but I know there's no amount of my stress, worry, or sleepless nights that can change the reality of the world. The symptoms I'm feeling are self induced. I can only change myself.
After a brief moment of this feeling it's back into the chaos for another spin. This is the cycle that I have been living in. Living on one edge or the other and often somewhere in between. The more I live in acceptance and surrender of the things that I have no control over, the more peace I have in my life. This is where I want to be.
If you've made it this far you probably have the patience to listen to a 7 1/2 minute song. If you did, I hope that you dig it and can relate to the meaning in someway or another.
Thank for listening, see you on the next song.